Sure I'll Open your Attachment, Guy Who Wrote To Say I Suck

If you write a web site you get hate mail. I received my fair share until I wrote rules for e-mailing on my main page which seemed to do the trick. In 1999 I wrote about Emil Matasareanu, whose family was suing Los Angeles for his (snicker) wrongful death.

The site I link to was written by a fan, and another cavity creep from Canada began sending me insane e-mails with virus attachments. He would sometimes send 15 viruses at a time as quickly as he could paste my e-mail address and hit send. He had a website where he claimed to have written 50 unpublished books and sang with bands. I can't find it now. I imagine the government paid him an allowance to buy food and pay rent because he was too sane for an institution and too crazy for a real job. I blocked his e-mail address and for all I know he still sends me virus attachments.

A serial killer groupie wrote a threatening e-mail a year ago asking where I lived. I responded that his message was evidence, the kind that probably violates whatever agreement he has with local authorities that allows him to leave his room.

I have a new virus pen pal from Austria. Herbert Newland. At 1st my crime was being a bad writer. Then yesterday he sent a virus with the message "See You". I googled his name and was able to send an e-mail to his internet provider, what might be his child's school, AND his local police. I figure they should know what kind of kook they're dealing with. Anti-social behaviors usually come in bunches. And I have proof to back it up. Moo ha ha.

The only attachments I ever open have to say Punk Kittens and mean it, man.