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Saturday, June 04, 2005

Rage Against The Supermarket Checkout Line

I'm a kitten on freeways but become instantly enraged on a supermarket checkout line. Upon arrival I desperately pretend I'm alone on a tropical island gazing at pretty clouds. That's why I smile, but it's a crooked smile like I'm holding back a stinky because the rage builds immediately.

Why is the old lady paying 96 cents with 76 pieces of change, pulling out each coin and announcing the new total? Why is the checker asking the next person if he found everything ok? What if he says he wanted to buy a cut of beef? Do they call the butcher out from the back with a display of roasts? Did she just ask the next person if he got everything he needed? What if he says no? Do they then stare at each other existentially? Can they lock up the cigarettes any farther away? I just came from the gym where I hack-squatted 1,000 lbs. Do they think I need help carrying three sacks of groceries to my car?

Jebus!

3 Comments:

Anonymous New Evolutionist said...

The old bags always have a bundle of expired coupons, too.

7:48 AM

 
Blogger Richard said...

I get more enraged at the check-yourself-out lines. I'm already paying whatever the price was when you had to pay cashiers to check me out. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay the same money to do it myself. Besides, when you do use the self-checkout lane, it always asks you to stand there and wait for assistance, which never comes anyway. What's the point of self-checkout if I have to stand around and wait on an employee to come stand over me while I use it? Just sharing a little checkout line rage.

11:56 AM

 
Blogger Emerson said...

Rich:

When I use those machines at Walmart it gets mad at me for not filling up the bag all the way. It imposes a time-out and I have to stand there until it decides it's ready to let me scan again. If I want that kind of abuse I'll call my mother.

2:04 PM

 

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