Boom-Ba-Doom-Boom

Yesterday at my gym, L.A. Crapness, they played an XM radio station that terrified and amazed me. It was dance music not based on songs but two beats and an aesthetic so removed from humanity I thought this was what people in The Matrix listened to in their goo-filled cubby holes.

The beats never changed. Something akin to lite jazz elements were added here and there but the insidious beats never varied and I, like Pheobe on Friends when she ate the cookie, thought "Sweet Lord, this must be what evil tastes like!" One beat was a slightly elevated heartbeat, the other an afro-latin "Boom-Ba-Doom-Boom". It never ended and there was never a hint it might in my lifetime.

Years ago I forced myself to watch Groove because rave culture seemed to be the most inane musical wasteland the mind could conceive. The angst for the DJs was to ensure each song melted into the other with no noticeable change. What made the dancing ravers go nuts were the slightest variations to a beat that never changed. It's an extacy thing so I wouldn't understand.

Boom-Ba-Doom-Boom is even worse.